[FONT='Comic Sans MS']There is not one dirty word in this, and I think it's really funny.[/FONT][FONT='Comic Sans MS'] [/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']On the day[FONT='Comic Sans MS'] [/FONT][FONT='Comic Sans MS']the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon." [/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..." [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you." [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?" [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat" [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there." [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!" [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith. [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly. [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look" [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in." [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?" [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away." [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Tripod?" [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand [/FONT]
[FONT='Comic Sans MS']very long." [/FONT]

[FONT='Comic Sans MS']Mrs. Smith fainted!! [/FONT]
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And I live with her?

lol at least you get to have a laugh could be a lot worse

Hehehe