After a few months languishing in the inner Labular region of darkest Fanniebush I have come to the conclusion that only a woman truly knows the answer to why yes means no, and indeed why no means yes.

Then there are the "maybe's", the "I'm fines", and "does my bum look big" etc,etc. The safest bet is always to assume that no means no, but also to assume yes means no as well. This will save much heartache in the long run.

But to answer your questions......indeed I am back to answer all of your intimate, private and personal questions. Now for the moment I am going back to playing with my pasta shapes in tomato sauce because I think the nurse wants me to stop writing "help me" on the walls of my rubberised bedroom with my best crayons. You'll never catch me with my trousers.........!!